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Welcome to The Raybourn Effect
...remember, you have to work hard and long on here. I'm here to help you also work Smart!
The newest issue is here!
Sit a spell with me this fine day. :-)
Today's Theme: Only YOU can predict your future - your success!
In Today's Issue: clicking any topic will take you to that section
*Editor's Gab
*Article:
Overcoming the Fear of Failure - by Terry Bragg
*Want to learn about new services?
*Article: Whose Life Are You Living? Why You May Be Living Someone Else’s Life and
How You Can Take Back What’s Yours - by Jerry Lopper
*Trying to find Dawn Rintoul - anyone seen her?
Editor's Gab
How are you this fine day?
Today I want to focus on you and me - our online failures, insecurities, fears...
In the words of Stewie from Family Guy:
If you think you can or think you can't - you're right!
Obviously it's not his quote - but you just gotta love him!
Since the first week in May I've been battling a staph infection, one that has broken out in two different parts of my body. After over two months of being down, being on meds and pain killers - it's really getting to me mentally and emotionally. I thought I was free and clear and ready to serve all my clients until BAM!...two weeks ago it came back.
Been to the Doc's four times for this at about $300 a pop. I'm a bit tired of them treating the symptoms instead of treating the source.
So I'm "Tom Cruising" it for a while! LOL
Recovery is slower, but at least I know I'm hitting the source (I hope). ;-)
Part of my productivity and happiness on here is to be able to take time to do creative things. I love serving my clients, but I also like being creative with websites, graphics and brainstorming up new ways to make money.
For over two months now I haven't been able to do that because I'm not able to sit at the puter for more than a couple hours at a time.
When all I do is sit at the computer anyway - and now I can't that long? That's hurts! I'm not productive... I don't feel like I'm moving forward... I don't feel as if I'm accomplishing anything.
Ahh, but that's just all in my mind! I can sit here and feel sorry for myself - and trust me, I DO! Or, I can think smart and create a brand new routine so I can feel a sense of accomplishment.
I've always liked getting up at 4am and start working by 4.30am. My creative juices flow like crazy. I can build a new site by 7am. Then I move on to all my businesses and serving my clients.
Now I can't do that. If I'm up by 4am, by 7am I'm ready to go back to bed. Not good!
Because my clients keep me here working from home, each morning they come first - creativity gets set aside until after everything is done on my Client To Do List. Then I take a short break and come back and spend at least an hour being creative.
Now I have that sense of accomplishment. I'm being nourished. I'm feeling good. It's not as much as I would like, but at least I'm still able to take baby steps and do a little something creative each day.
And actually, it feels REALLY good tending to my clients needs first thing every morning. So this new routine is something very positive for me.
Ahhh, but oh how I yearn to be back here - sitting, typing on this keyboard, looking at this monitor - 12-14 hours a day like I used to! It will come - I just can't beat myself up for not being able to be here that long.
What's the point of why I typed this? Well, there's a solution for everything - we just need to clear our minds of the frustration, hurt and even anxiety so we can find it.
It's up to you, it's up to me - individually we determine our own future. Although we need to lean on one another, it's still up to us.
If something is getting you down, if something is getting in your way of achieving your goals - your dreams - then take a step back and fix it. Don't depend on another to fix it for you.
Article: "Overcoming the Fear of Failure"
by Terry Bragg
Fear of failure is one of the greatest fears people have. Fear of failure is
closely related to fear of criticism and fear of rejection. Successful people
overcome their fear of failure. Fear incapacitates unsuccessful people.
The Law of Feedback states: there is no failure; there is only feedback.
Successful people look at mistakes as outcomes or results, not as failure.
Unsuccessful people look at mistakes as permanent and personal.
Buckminster Fuller wrote, "Whatever humans have learned had to be
learned as a consequence only of trial and error experience. Humans have learned
only through mistakes."
Most people self-limit themselves. Most people do not achieve a fraction of
what they are capable of achieving because they are afraid to try—because they
are afraid they will fail.
Take these steps to overcome your fear of failure and move yourself forward
to getting the result you desire:
Step One: Take action. Bold, decisive action. Do something scary. Fear
of failure immobilizes you. To overcome this fear, you must act. When you act,
act boldly.
Action gives you the power to change the circumstances or the situation. You
must overcome the inertia by doing something. Dr. Robert Schuller asks,
"What would you do if you knew you could not fail?" What could you
achieve? Be brave and just do it. If it doesn’t work out the way you want,
then do something else. But DO SOMETHING NOW.
Step Two: Persist. Successful people just don’t give up. They keep
trying different approaches to achieving their outcomes until they finally get
the results they want. Unsuccessful people try one thing that doesn’t work and
then give up. Often people give up when they are on the threshold of succeeding.
Step Three: Don’t take failure personally. Failure is about
behavior, outcomes, and results. Failure is not a personality characteristic.
Although what you do may not give you the result you wanted, it doesn’t mean
you are a failure. Because you made a mistake, doesn’t mean that you are a
failure.
Step Four: Do things differently. If what you are doing isn’t
working, do something else. There is an old saying, "if you always do what
you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got." If you’re
not getting the results you want, then you must do something different. Most
people stop doing anything at all, and this guarantees they won’t be
successful.
Step Five: Don’t be so hard on yourself. Hey, if nothing else, you
know what doesn’t work. Failure is a judgement or evaluation of behavior. Look
at failure as an event or a happening, not as a person.
Step Six: Treat the experience as an opportunity to learn. Think of
failure as a learning experience. What did you learn from the experience that
will help you in the future? How can you use the experience to improve yourself
or your situation? Ask yourself these questions:
(1) What was the mistake?
(2) Why did it happen?
(3) How could it have been prevented?
(4) How can I do better next time?
Then use what you learned from the experience to do things differently so you
get different results next time. Learn from the experience or ignore it.
Step Seven: Look for possible opportunities that result from the
experience. Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, says
"every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the
seed of an equivalent or a greater benefit." Look for the opportunity and
the benefit.
Step Eight: Fail forward fast. Tom Peters, the management guru, says that in today's business world, companies must fail forward fast. What he means is that the way we learn is by making mistakes. So if we want to learn at a faster pace, we must make mistakes at a faster pace. The key is that you must learn from the mistakes so you make so you don't repeat them.
Although we all make mistakes, fear of failure doesn't have to cripple you. As self-help author Susan Jeffers says, "feel the fear and do it anyway."
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Terry Bragg runs a company called
Peacemakers Training in Salt Lake City, Utah, and is the author of the book 31
Days to High Self-Esteem. He works with organizations to create a workplace
where people want to work, and with managers who want their people to work
together better. If you want your organization or your people to have more
energy, more trust, more respect, and more meaning, please contact him at:
Peacemakers Training
5485 South Chaparral Drive
Murray, Utah 84123
Telephone: 801-288-9303
E-mail: terry@terrybragg.com
Web Site: http://www.terrybragg.com
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ARTICLE: Whose Life Are You Living?
By Jerry Lopper (published 7.28.05)
Whose Life Are You Living? Why You May Be Living Someone Else’s Life and How You Can Take Back What’s Yours.
On most days, do you feel energetic, enthusiastic, and satisfied with your life? If not, perhaps it’s because you’ve given up control of your life to others. Many of us give up accountability for our lives, depending on others for our information, advice, and decisions. Each life is unique. Each life belongs only to one person-—we normally realize that fact, but still often give up accountability to others. Sometimes it’s easier that way, though less satisfying.
It’s not surprising that this occurs so frequently. In our early years we look outside of ourselves for everything we require. As young children, we are totally dependent on parents or caregivers for our very lives. They feed, clothe, and shelter us. We remain alive and secure only to the degree they continue to provide for our needs. Later, our parents teach us the rules of childhood living-—the do’s and don’ts of every aspect of life in their home.
We go to school and learn the three R’s, as well as cultural norms for getting along in the classroom and on the playground. Perhaps we have religious training, providing the rules of God according to the religion of our parents. Again, all selected for us. It’s not until our teens that we begin to question; then we question everything to the dismay of so many parents. But then we also learn a new set of rules-—how to be popular or, at least, how to stay in the good graces of our peers. We enter sports, hobbies, band, music, dance, and many other activities, each with an adult teaching us.
Late teens, perhaps early twenties, we’re now adults, perhaps even parents ourselves. Are we still looking to others for the rules of life? Perhaps that shouldn't surprise us, for now newspapers, magazines, movies, and TV all bombard us with their views of life, often describing views of life bearing little resemblance to real life itself. So-called reality shows are a prime example. Depicted as real life, these shows are tightly scripted and managed for optimum viewer attraction.
Are you living the life of your dreams or the life someone else has dreamed for you? Or perhaps you feel that life happens to you, that you are the recipient, with your only control being your ability to choose how to react.
It may be helpful to think of life as a play, someone writes the script, someone directs the actors, and someone plays the starring role. Thinking of your life, put names to each of these: scriptwriter, director, and star. Did you put your name down three times? To feel fully alive and have a chance at a fulfilling and satisfying life, we must recognize that we are all three; scriptwriter, director, and star. We are living the life we scripted even if we took on the script of someone else’s life. It was still our decision to do so.
If you’re a person who hasn’t been fully in charge of your life you might be feeling discouraged about now, but the awareness that you’ve been giving up control of your life can be the beginning of an exciting new journey into self development.
Can you recall the day-dreams you had as a child? Do you remember the excitement and wonder you felt at seeing yourself in your day-dream future? The enthusiasm you felt for life when you were eight years old can be yours again at twenty eight, thirty eight, or fifty eight. Life is exciting, a wonderful adventure—but only when it’s your life.
If your life now seems a boring, unsatisfying, and humdrum day to day existence, why not start writing a new story? Just for the fun of it, take out a piece of blank paper and put this at the top: My New Life Story. But before you start writing anything, do this. Remember the story of Aladdin’s Lamp? Aladdin found a magic lamp and when he rubbed it a genie appeared granting him three you’ve. Well, you’ve just found your magic lamp. Rub it and see the genie appear, granting you the power to wish anything for your life that you desire.
Now go back to your piece of paper with My New Life Story at the top, and start writing. Write the next chapter of your life. Describe the star of your story in great detail. The star is you. How do you feel? What do you do? Who are you with? Does this new story excite you? Does it feel more like the real you? Don’t answer these questions with your head; your heart will tell you the truth. You’ll know deep inside if what you’ve written is the right path for you. It may be scary to think about, but if it feels right then it is right.
At this point, perhaps your initial excitement is starting to wane and you’ve put down your pen in frustration, discouraged and thinking that this just isn’t practical, that it’s unrealistic, just another day-dream. This is your ego protecting the status quo. Change is hard, and it can be frightening, but dreams do come true.
Scientists know that people who visualize their goals in great detail and with strong emotion generally achieve those goals. You, too, can change your life, though not instantly as in the Aladdin story. Even though it will take some time, energy, and courage to change, taking control of your life can be very satisfying in itself. Just knowing that you are in charge, responsible and accountable for your life can bring new satisfaction and fulfillment to each day. Life’s difficulties and challenges can become more manageable, seen more as temporary obstacles than permanent blocks.
Once you decide to take back control of your life you’ll probably find yourself picking up books, magazines and surfing internet sites that provide self improvement advice. Read as much as you can. Try on suggestions for improvement. If they seem to fit keep them, if not discard them. Your path of growth is unique, just as you are unique. In the next few months I’ll be addressing various aspects of self empowerment and growth. And I’ll be happy to answer your questions and field your comments.
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Copywrite 2004, all rights reserved. Jerry Lopper is an
author, personal coach, and consultant. His workshops,
ebooks, articles, and coaching are available through
http://www.yourcoachtosuccess.com where you can sign up for
complimentary articles and coaching. For a complimentary
coaching session email to compcoach@yourcoachtosuccess.com.
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Trying to find Dawn Rintoul
Has anyone seen her or know how to get in touch with her? If so, send me an email please. :-) publisher@theraybourneffect.com .
If you ever want to drop me a line, please don't hesitate to do so. One of the reasons I enjoy being online is meeting so many different people. All with different goals, desires and thought processes of how to obtain them. Meeting all of you keeps me interested in all I do.
Thank You!
Don't forget - always enjoy the ride!
One man has enthusiasm for 30 minutes, another for 30 days,
but it is the man who has it for 30 years
who makes a success
of his life.
-- Edward B. Butler
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